It was a common occurrence that highly mundane behaviors drew Bob's ire. And because of the way he was worshipped, his comments reverberated and followers fell into line.
A group of people went to see the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind. John came back raving about it. That disturbed Bob. He proclaimed that John was "cutoff from his feelings" and that it's the sort of movie that causes viewers to be cutoff.
Another time a group of people went to see the movie Rocky. Bob liked it a lot. Tim said he thought it was corny. Tim took flack in group.
There were a number of skiers in the group, and there were annual trips to various ski locations. Bob didn't go; he wasn't a skier. But he did go the time we went to Lake Tahoe because he enjoyed gambling. His wife Tam went too, because she was a skier. After the first day spent skiing, there was an ad-hoc group talk. Bob was angry at Tam because she was supposedly "cutoff" and "inward" after skiing. He preferred that she accompany him in the casino to shoot craps. And that's what she did the next day.
Once a whole bunch of us went to Yosemite for a few days, including Bob. Gary was recruiting various people to go on a long hike. Bob got word and he was furious. Gary took a whole lot of flack and the hike didn't happen.
In short, Bob frowned on activities that weren't Bob-centric. This especially applied to Tam and the inner circle.
3 comments:
When Bob was angry at Tam (or any of the significant women in his life) he’d often generalize his anger onto the group. In the Tahoe talk, which could have been a lively discussion regarding personal choices and preferences, Bob accused all of the skiers of retreating from friendship and numbing themselves with cut-off activities. Most of us fell in line. We followed him around the casino the next day, and following Bob around a casino was no picnic. If by chance you rolled a 7 at the craps table, he’d scream obscenities and accuse you of subconsciously trying to fuck him over, then banish you from the table.
A woman in the group enjoyed yoga and stretching. She started an exercise class for people who wanted to get in shape. From what I remember, it was quite popular. When Bob got wind of the class and learned that no men attended it, he confronted the ladies in a talk. Words like women’s club and man-haters were hurled about. Needless to say, that was the end of that.
I remember a whole bunch of us went to a movie. The people I sat with loved it and we talked about it as we were leaving. Bob was already outside surrounded by a different subgroup. He was fuming over the portrayal of the female lead. She was a sympathetic character and her husband was not. The "women's point of view" pissed him off.
One by one, the people who loved it moments before were nodding their heads in agreement and chiming in with negativity about the movie.
I don't blame them. Who wants to be labeled a man-hater and get confronted in a talk?
I thought it was all crazy but I said nothing. I have many regrets.
Post a Comment