The Love Diet

As a friend stated so succinctly:

Fat Bob likes his women skinny

So Bob conceived The Love Diet. The concept was simple. The dieter relies on a person they love to tell them what to eat on a daily basis. In no time flat, almost every woman was on this diet plan. 

Bob viewed The Love Diet as a money-making opportunity, never mind if it was actually effective. He decided to write a book. But that presented a problem. The supposed greatest psychology theorist of all time can't be writing that sort of material. There was a simple solution. John, the one MD who lived in the community, was enlisted to attach his name to the project. John was a dermatologist. 

Make no mistake, this was Bob's project. That means that Joyce did all of the actual writing. I don't know how they managed to stretch this simplistic concept into a book (and I don't intend to find out). 

And it didn't stop there. The same guy who wrote Bob's Song proceeded to compose The Love Diet. This is all I remember:

There's a brand new way to lose weight

You oughta try it

A brand new way to lose weight

It's called The Love Diet

You don't need no doctor

You don't need no pills

All you need is ???? ??? 

The Love Diet swept through the group like wildfire, and it fizzled out in much the same way. The stupidity is (and was) beyond belief.

I could stop here and let it stand as comic relief, except there's a disturbing footnote. A short time later, John was caught in the act molesting pre-pubescent girls. He was evicted from the group immediately. I assign no blame to Bob whatsoever. However, law enforcement wasn't called in. That would be too risky -- a kid might spill unrelated, uncomfortable secrets. (Did laws concerning mandated reporting exist then? Bob was John's therapist afterall.) 

And even after this occurred, when Bob and Joyce were extolling the excellence of the community in Bob's books, they continued to brag about the doctor in our midst.