In Mothers and Children I wrote about the systematic way that babies/toddlers were separated from their parents.
The parents would invariably acquiesce and the baby would be transferred to surrogates. Permanently.
Not quite. Most of the kids were bounced from one surrogate to another to another. These decisions came from on high, without input from the biological parents nor the surrogates.
Again I will rely on reader/commenter GMC for their painfully insightful observations:
I understand, in retrospect, that a fundamental aim of Bob's was to prevent all deep attachments (bonds) between people except for their attachment to him. He was to be the center of everyone's world. This was especially damaging to parents and children.
I was told that I was "poison" to my young son. No explanation or specific evidence of this was given to me. Bob just said that if I cared about my child at all I would support his being raised by others. Like the other children - except for the Firestone children - my son lived in several different households while growing up. It was rare for the kids to stay in any given household for more than a year since any apparent "bond" between adults and children was to be avoided. Thus, everyone - parents, children, caregivers - were anxious and insecure about their relationships to each other. We were vulnerable and frightened. Just the way Bob wanted.
It's hard to imagine that experts wouldn't view this as obviously, seriously harmful to the kids and the parents.
2 comments:
Many of the youngest of the children have confided and spoken about their abuse. What its like to not have a bond with their parents and how they feel they must always be putting on a smile and show to ensure they aren't facing any repercussions or raising suspicions and being punished. Stories about being told they are loved by their parents only to have an elder step in behind them and tell the parent to quit lying to the child while still in earshot.
Thank you for sharing this.
Post a Comment